Love Is The End
by nightviolets
Summary: After Masaomi finds himself and Saki in financial trouble, he returns to Izaya and asks for a job. Izaya is more than happy to offer him work, eager to play with his favorite pawn again.
1. Chapter 1

**_Warnings:_** _brief non-con, emotional manipulation_

 _Wooo, I got some of my creativity back! I have a few snippets already written, so I'll try to keep to a schedule of one chapter per week, or two weeks, depending. I'm excited for this fic because I think I have a better grasp on the characters now, and I've also grown as a writer. I hope everyone enjoys it. ^_^_

 _I owe the title of this story to Love Is The End by Keane. I don't own Durarara! nor any of the characters in it._

* * *

Masaomi looked up at the foreboding building across the street. It wasn't the building that struck fear in him, but a certain informant who resided within it. Taking a deep breath, he crossed the street, reminding himself of his reason for the sudden return.

Saki checked out of the hospital a year ago. They were finally back together, but four months in, financial stress began to burden other areas of their relationship. Each was often cold or distant, with no warning. Neither had parents to run back to, so they got a small apartment. Saki worked at a convenience store a few blocks from their home; Masaomi had just quit his job from the theater—which his girlfriend grew furious about. She had been threatening to leave him for weeks if he couldn't find a stable job. If they weren't under so much stress, Masaomi thought that they could go back to normal.

He tried to push away the horrible memories of his experiences with the informant as he made his way up the elevator. Reminding himself one last time that he was truly desperate for money, he knocked on the door. A voice called out, and he entered the apartment, quietly shutting the door behind him. As always, Izaya was sitting at his desk, immersed in his laptop.

Izaya looked up and raised an eyebrow, more amused than surprised to see the boy again. "Masaomi-kun, I haven't seen you in a while. How are you?"

"If I were doing alright, I wouldn't be here." He stalked over the man and placed his hands on his desk. "I need a few jobs. More than a few, actually."

The raven closed his laptop and rested his chin on his palm. "Don't be rude. Aren't you going to ask how I'm doing?" His gaze was just as sharp as Masaomi remembered it, piercing into him, invading his thoughts. It willed him to behave, to surrender and act the way Izaya wanted him to.

Masaomi crossed his arms; he had already decided that he wouldn't be pushed around. "No, I want to get this done quickly."

"Well, that doesn't work for me. Go sit on the couch and we can talk." Izaya gestured to the luxurious furniture across the room.

"I'm fine here." His reply was spoken pointedly, with tenacity he knew the other would want to extinguish slowly and painfully.

"That wasn't a suggestion. Your determination to avoid manipulation is cute, but I will only help if you comply with me."

With a sigh, the teen retreated to the couch and waited for Izaya to sit down. He had one leg up, and his pelvis was pointed towards him. He wasn't planning to miss any of the boy's expressions. "Much better. Now, how is Saki-chan doing?"

He shuddered, not liking how the man said his girlfriend's name. It held intimacy that reminded him they were well acquainted. "She's fine," he answered plainly, obviously wanting to avoid discussing her with him.

"You're having financial problems, I take it?"

"Yes."

"I suppose I could find a few things… But I know of a much better way for you to earn money."

"How?"

"You can work for me full-time. Namie-san is currently on...an extended break, of sorts. You'd work Monday through Friday, 11:00 to 7:00. The hours and days will be flexible, of course, as paperwork and jobs are not constant. I can pay you 2500 yen per hour. You'll also earn money for extra services I might ask of you."

"… Extra services?"

"You know, pushing, going on dangerous jobs, accompanying me to tedious events, etcetera." He idly ran his fingers through the golden hair. Masaomi flinched, but didn't move away, more because it would result in trouble if he stopped it than because he enjoyed it. "How does that sound? One might call it ' _an offer you can't refuse_.'"

Masaomi second-guessed himself. He had never hated anyone as much as he loathed Izaya. Now he'd be forced to see him for around thirty-five hours a week. He thought about Saki again, and how they were before the financial problems—how they could be after they were stable. Also, 2500 yen per hour was incredibly generous. Izaya was richer than he'd thought, and he took him to be a rather wealthy man, judging from his living arrangements. "Alright. I'll take it."

"Wonderful. When can you start?"

Masaomi scratched the back of his neck and looked away. His new boss's voice sounded far too excited, and his eyes were practically gleaming. "Well, I'm not particularly busy… I can start anytime."

"How about now?"

"Now?" He glanced out the large windows. "It's nearly sunset. I have to get home."

Izaya placed a hand on the blond's knee. It was just light enough to be casual. "I'd like to train you before you begin working. It won't take long."

Masaomi sighed with defeat and brushed off the uncomfortable touch. "Fine. What do you want me to do?"

"We're going to go through a few rules. Firstly, what happens while you're with me will not be spoken about outside of this apartment." He tapped Masaomi's knee with one finger, adding in another with each rule he articulated. "Secondly, you will show up on time and leave only when I say you're done for the day. Unless I explicitly state otherwise, you will come in every weekday." He scooted closer, delighting in the boy's nervous demeanor. Everything was going according to plan. "Lastly, you will not defy me. The orders I give are absolute, and disobedience will result in dock of salary, unpaid overtime, or any other punishment I see fit. Are we clear?"

"Yes," Masaomi said quickly, wanting to get through the conversation as quickly as possible.

"Perfect! Now let's catch up. How are things with you and Saki-chan?"

"We're fine, but—"

"Oh, and while it's amusing to catch you in lies, our conversations will go much smoother if you tell me the truth. If you hide things from me, I'll be forced to waste time coaxing it out of you, so be honest with me."

"Sorry… Um, it's not going too well. Since we've had money problems, she's been cold and distant. The stress of it is impacting our relationship." He felt awkward talking about relationship problems with Izaya, but it was better than being prodded until he finally came out with the truth.

"It must be difficult to handle so many of these problems when you're only eighteen. How do you do it, Masaomi-kun?" He softened his expression sympathetically and slid his hand into Masaomi's.

Masaomi was too caught up in the crimson-eyed male's stare to be bothered by Izaya's subtle act of affection. "I, uh…"

"I've waited so long for this day to come."

Masaomi swallowed nervously as the man moved closer, and yet he found himself leaning forward. "Y-You have?"

"Oh, yes. How could I not anticipate when you would return to me? Do you remember how we were back then?"

"Yeah…" Izaya was far too close to him. He could smell the man's intoxicating scent; he was frozen under his intense stare.

"I can recall so many incredible memories: your fingers tangled in my hair; how you whined my name so adorably when you wanted me to touch you; the way you smiled when you woke up next to me…"

"Izaya…" Masaomi moved close enough to feel Izaya's breath against his skin. He shut his eyes and lightly, teasingly brushed their lips together, smiling when he pulled away and received a grunt in response. The way Izaya's hands settled on his waist was pleasantly familiar; how he gripped tighter when Masaomi pulled away again was impossibly cute. Sometimes the man allowed teasing, and the blond always took advantage of it when he did.

After a few more light nips and kisses, Masaomi threw his arms around the informant's neck and crashed their lips together, letting out a growl from his throat as he felt fingernails dig into his side. Soon enough, he was greedily shoving his tongue into the man's mouth, pulling Izaya on top of him.

He wasn't too surprised to feel fingers undoing the button of his pants, and he quickly swatted them away. They remained kissing for a while, then Izaya tried again, and Masaomi grabbed his hand to interlock their fingers instead. The third try, a few minutes later, he finally gave in, feeling weak against the man above him. He was always weak against Izaya's advances, and rarely ever denied him. If the informant wanted him, it was only inevitable that this would happen again.

The rest happened almost too quickly for him to keep up with, though he figured slight disorientation was part of the other's strategy. He returned the kisses placed on his lips, and had just begun to suck on a few of the raven's fingers when they were plucked out of his mouth. Masaomi tensed as he felt his pants and boxers being pulled down to his ankles, but didn't protest, letting the man do as he pleased, just like he always did. He prayed that Izaya wouldn't say anything. The raw, carnal desire between them could easily be shattered by the sadistic informant's words.

Masaomi tightly gripped onto the other man's shoulders when two fingers slid inside him. He pushed into them, his mind fuzzing as Izaya brushed against the spot that made him tremble. Soft whimpers and moans escaped him as he felt the tension slowly leaving his body. Surrendering to Izaya's sweet words and intoxicating touches was easy, and he truly didn't _want_ to resist him.

The informant scattered kisses along his neck and collarbones as his fingers moved at a quicker rhythm. He smiled predatorily from the slight pink that rose to the boy's face, and gently pecked his lips in response. Izaya angled his fingers to strike all of the places inside Masaomi that made him writhe and moan in pleasure. The sharp moves left a dull ache that only managed to add to his growing need to release.

It only took a couple of minutes for Masaomi to not be able to to hold back any longer, consumed by a mixture of desire and frustration. The blond's fingernails sunk into the informant's shoulders as his lower body spasmed and his muscles contracted. He shut his eyes as calmness washed over his body.

Masaomi wondered when Izaya would speak. When would he be forced back into reality to make him face what he'd done, to make him realize that he'd yet again fallen for the sly informant's tricks?

"Return to me," Izaya murmured simply, brushing his lips against the younger man's ear.

Masaomi opened his eyes and bit his lip. He didn't want to face the consequences of his actions—or rather, _in_ action against Izaya's advances. "We shouldn't have done that. I can't believe—"

"You can't believe that you let me pleasure you again, committing infidelity for the nth time? Is it truly difficult to believe that a young man neglected by his current girlfriend would melt into the arms of his former lover? What's wrong with giving into what you desire? It's fine as long as you don't tell her."

Masaomi shook his head. This wasn't the first time he heard Izaya say those words, and he needed to stop things quickly, before everything ended in disaster. "No, I can't..."

"You were so happy back then, don't you remember? We can just pretend that you never left."

Masaomi gazed into deep red irises. Izaya was all he'd ever wanted, and he was being offered a chance to return to his blissful affair. What made everything worse was that this was only the second time he was certain that Izaya actually wanted to be with him. Most of their past relationship was spent with Masaomi feeling insecure the whole time, rarely initiating any kind of affectionate or intimate gesture. Now, Izaya was talking about wanting him back so openly. "Stop talking. Please don't make me agonize over this again."

"Too late." Izaya bent down and took the boy's lips in his, kissing Masaomi in a way that made him dizzy, and left wanting more. "Leave her. Leave her for me."

"I can't do that. I love her." His voice grew quieter and more reserved, and his expression showed less hesitance.

"You say, as you relish the touch of someone else." He tightened his grip on Masaomi's hand and pressed their foreheads together. "I won't ignore you, or make you work to win the slightest affection. No more sleeping on the couch or being verbally abused. Saki-chan was once a sweet girl, but she's changed now. She's grown up, and without me, has suddenly been forced into the realities of life. She doesn't know how to make her own decisions, and takes out her frustration on you. Why would you stay with someone like that, when you could be with someone who would adore you and constantly dote on you—remind you that you're _wanted_?"

Masaomi shut his eyes. "Once we're financially stable again, she'll go back to how she really is—"

"Until she's faced with a minor problem, and resorts to abusing you yet again."

"It's not abuse, Izaya. There aren't… _risks_ involved with dating Saki. She's always been the source of my strength, and will continue to be once we're back on our feet. With you… I never know what's going on in your head. You're interesting and charming, but there's something behind that I just can't put words to. It's something that slowly tears me apart from the inside. You know me too well; you know my weaknesses, strengths, habits, and behavior. But you use those things against me, if only in a subtle, practically unnoticeable, way. Yeah, I was happy with you once, but you betrayed my trust in a way I can never forgive."

"Saki-chan—"

"Was following your orders. She had fallen under your control for a while, but she never abandoned me. She would try to warn me about you without going against you, giving me subtle hints that I shouldn't rely on you too much, and I shouldn't get too close to you."

Izaya smirked. "What makes you think I didn't tell her to do those things?"

Masaomi paused. "You…?"

"I needed you to trust her completely. In order for that to work, she had to pretend that her loyalty was with you. Your relationship with her was a lie. What you see now is who she truly is. The real relationship you had was with me. _I want you_ , Masaomi. Not just your body, but all of you. You want me too, so surrender to me."

The blond shook his head, giving the man a forlorn look. He didn't want to reject Izaya, but he knew that it was necessary. "You have to let me go. From now on, the extent of our relationship will be solely professional. I'm not getting involved with you again, and there's nothing you can say that will change my mind."

Izaya huffed. "Very well. You'll come around eventually, anyway."

"No, I won't. I'm done with you, and I'll break all contact if you try to get me to be more than your employee."

Izaya smiled in a way that made Masaomi uneasy. "You think you can threaten me? You _will_ return me eventually. If you try to cease contact, you'll be sorry you crossed me."

Masaomi closed his eyes, trying to escape that piercing stare. "Izaya-san... I won't threaten you; I'll put up with your harassment because I need this job, but we will never be lovers again." He opened his eyes and looked at Izaya with conviction.

Slender fingers slid his fingers along Masaomi's jawbone. "This is why I find you so interesting, Masaomi-kun. Even backed into a corner, you try to make everyone believe you're in charge—and you often succeed. Of course, I'm in control here, but I still adore that fighting spirit. After all, you're my favorite."

The former gang leader's expression hardened. "Get to the point."

A devious smirk spread across Izaya's face. "There's nothing for me to agree or disagree to. You've stated what you wanted to say, and I listened. You ended the conversation." He kissed Masaomi's cheek. "Go home and get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow."

A light pink color rose to Masaomi's face, but he kept himself composed. He cleared his throat and stood up. "Right. I'll be here at eleven..." He quickly left, resisting the temptation to look back, knowing whatever expression the man was making would cause him to realize how _powerless_ he truly was against Izaya.


	2. Chapter 2

The first day of work was surprisingly normal. Masaomi was obviously tense and overly cautious around the man—as well as embarrassed every time he remembered what had happened the evening before. Every teasing touch and words that were meant to be misunderstood only made him more nervous. As he found the end of the workday nearing, though, he started to wonder if Izaya was really going to heed what he said and not try to start anything up between them again. It was somehow... _disappointing_ to not be given the attention he was expecting, no matter how much he had dreaded it.

When he returned home that evening, it was with confusion, hope, and chagrin. He had expected to need to bat off Izaya's advances, but was met with a boss that only liked to verbally play with him a little, and mostly left him alone. As he went to bed, he wondered if things would really be different, and the informant would give up on him.

That pleasant, yet unsettling, idea was shattered at the end of work on the second day. He was sitting on the couch beside Izaya after he was asked to have a chat with him. As usual, it was not an appropriate conversation by any means.

"When was the last time you were intimate?"

Masaomi widened his eyes. "That's none of your business!"

"You are the employee of an information broker. Every part of your life is my business. Answer me." The last bit was spoken in a stern, unyielding voice.

Masaomi felt forced to reply. He knew Izaya would get it out of him one way or another. "It's been a little less than two months. Apart from yesterday, I mean..." he said quietly.

A hand slid up the blond's thigh. "Two months is a long time for a young man, Masaomi-kun. You must be frustrated."

"Kinda…" He shifted away slightly.

Izaya leaned in so their lips were nearly touching. "Aren't you longing to be touched? To feel the warmth of another's body against yours?"

Masaomi felt a bulge growing in his pants. He had always harbored an attraction for Izaya. He often found himself thinking of the man when he should be thinking of his girlfriend. Although he had tried to push the thoughts away, everything about Izaya was so _sexy._ His seductive voice, toned body, graceful movements, and sadistic personality turned him on like nothing else. "Yes," he croaked.

"I'm feeling generous today. Maybe I could help?"

He wanted to scream ' _yes_ ,' but knew that only unintelligible sounds would come out. Instead, he placed his hand over the man's and moved it higher up, encouraging him to go further. So much for breaking off contact entirely if Izaya tried anything. Masaomi had given up his resolve on only their second day, as soon as his former lover made a pass at him. It wasn't even a particularly seductive way to get into his pants, either, making him realize just how desperate he was for this man to touch him.

Izaya comprehended the action and grasped the teen's hips. He lifted him and placed him between his legs. The older male breathed hot air on the boy's neck. "Do you still think about me when you touch yourself?"

Masaomi's pulse raced. He knew that he was in no state to attempt to deceive the skilled man. "E-Every time."

Breathy laughter escaped Izaya's mouth. "I thought so." He unbuttoned the boy's jeans and pulled out his member. "You're bigger than I remember." He spitted into his hand and stroked the length.

Masaomi blushed from embarrassment, but still was able to put on a smirk. "Does that mean you want me inside of you, Izaya-san? I can't say I dislike imagining you underneath me, begging for more." Topping Izaya was actually something he had only considered a few times. He had been perfectly content as the submissive partner, and since they had only actually slept together a handful of times, he wasn't bored of it or felt like he wanted to change positions.

A thumb swept over his tip, and he moaned, tilting his head back. Izaya took the chance to grasp his chin and angle it to the side. Their lips connected, and Masaomi lost all control he had left. He attacked the man's mouth, unrestrained noises of pleasure escaping his throat as their tongues wrestled. Fingers tangled in ebony hair, yanking roughly; his hips bucked into the warm touch with desperation.

Searing white flashed in Masaomi's mind. His eyes fluttered shut and his jaw dropped. His forehead fell against Izaya's cheek and his body shook as he silently released into the informant's hand.

Izaya licked his fingers and brushed through golden hair with his clean hand. He then produced a phone from his pocket and quickly sent a text.

Masaomi opened his eyes and slowly became aware of the awkward situation he was in. Blood rushed to his face, and he hastily zipped his pants. "I should really get going now," he said in a shaky, airy voice. "My work is finished for the day." When he tried to get up, an arm around his waist yanked him down.

"It's impolite to leave without thanking me. You should be appreciative of my service to you."

An even deeper shade of red covered his face. "Th-Thanks. Um, Saki will be waiting for me, so I need to go."

"Hold on for a moment, Masaomi-kun." Izaya took out his phone and read a text aloud. "' _Of course, Izaya-san. I'm so glad you've made up_.'" He cleared his throat. "Well, it seems that your girlfriend has given you permission to stay here for the night."

"Wait, what?" he exclaimed, his heart racing in fear. "What did you tell her?"

"I said that your job will end late into the night, so you're going to sleep over." He nipped Masaomi's ear.

Masaomi relaxed a little, glad that Izaya hadn't decided to outright tell her that he was cheating on her, but he was still unhappy he had contacted her. "When did I agree to that?"

"When I helped you out a minute ago. You need to do something for me in return—nothing is free; you should know that by now."

As he watched Izaya's fingers slide up and down his thighs, he finally came to his senses. He brushed the hands away and stood up. "I'll work for you, but this isn't going to be like last time. I already told you this on the first day."

Izaya remained where he was, comfortably lounging on the couch. "How so?"

"I… I made a mistake after I started dating Saki, and it won't happen again. I can't do that to her. If she were to find out what was going on back then, it would kill her."

"You mean finding out that she was betrayed by her lover?" He smirked. "Hm… That sounds familiar, doesn't it, Masaomi-kun?"

Masaomi tensed. He discreetly took a deep breath. "That's in the past. I won't make the same mistake."

Izaya gracefully rose to his feet in one smooth motion. "Won't you, though? I don't see it as a mistake, and I'm not so sure you do, either. That was a good time for you; you had everything you wanted—a successful gang, a pretty girlfriend, and a passionate affair on the side. Although, at the time, it felt like _she_ was the one always pushed to the side. It's only natural for you to wish to return to when you were happy." He moved closer to the boy and cupped his face with one hand. "We both know that you won't be able to resist the temptation."

"I can't," he whispered, feeling his will to refuse Izaya slowly diminish.

"Why not?" Izaya moved even closer. "Nobody has to know." Quietly, he repeated, "Why not?"

"I…don't know." Masaomi closed the small distance between their faces and kissed Izaya. The informant immediately responded, kissing back softly. He placed his hand on the man's shoulder and moaned, not objecting when Izaya steered them back to the couch. Izaya's kisses were familiar. They moved in perfect unison, as if the pair was made to be together. He was soon immersed in their heated embrace, unable to break away, despite his brain sending out alarms that he was falling into a trap again.

He pushed Izaya onto his back and buried his fingers in the soft obsidian hair. "This is wrong," he groaned, debating with himself. "I can't do this again… Not after what happened last time."

"You think I'm going to put your girlfriend in the hospital again?"

Something flickered in the boy's eyes before he spoke. "I, uh, yeah—I don't know… Maybe…"

With his usual smirk, Izaya sat up slightly and pulled Masaomi onto him so the boy was in a half-sitting, half-lying position. "This was never about Saki-chan, was it? Your hesitance about being intimate with me isn't mainly the guilt you have of cheating on her."

Masaomi wasn't mentally strong enough to produce an adequate argument at this point. Izaya _knew_. "I shouldn't have come here," he said quietly. Despite his words, he shut his eyes and collapsed onto the man. "I have to leave before it's too late." But he didn't move. He wasn't referring to the present moment—he'd already accepted that he wouldn't be leaving tonight, if Izaya still wanted him to stay. He meant in the future, before—.

"Do you remember what I said to you the morning after I took your virginity? You were so excited to give yourself up to me. It was adorable, the way you kept insisting that you were ready to be taken, and I just couldn't help myself."

"Please don't say it."

Masaomi was trembling in his arms. "What?"

He gripped the man's shirt, bunching the fabric in his fists until the depleting shirt had unintentionally uncovered most of his torso. "Please, Izaya-san. Don't say it."

"Masaomi-kun, not speaking a truth out loud doesn't make it false. Tell me what you want to say."

But he didn't want Izaya to hear it. He was terrified of the repercussions his statement might cause. He was afraid that Izaya would brush his feelings aside or laugh at him—or both. "Izaya-san." Time stopped. His heart beat out of control as his stomach tied in knots. What he felt was an emotion far past love—a passion brewed from loathing, lust, fear, respect, and longing. If he admitted his affections out loud, it would be used against him in the future.

He was only fifteen when he lost his virginity to the then twenty three year old. Izaya had said that Masaomi was well beyond his years in maturity, and had also made a point of telling the easily swayed teen that he wanted him. He coaxed the boy into feeling privileged for being invited to sleep with the man. But up until the night before his betrayal, only sexual favors had been performed, despite that Masaomi had asked multiple times for them to go further. Sex seemed like the next big step in their relationship, and he had been eager to advance it after a few months of being "together." Afterwards, Masaomi gave in and came back to Izaya a few times for a night of passion. Even then, they only went all the way two more times.

Falling deeply in love with Izaya was an outcome he'd predicted— _accepted_ —from the start. When their lips met for the first time, he felt the fireworks people spoke of. When their bodies rubbed together, shifting positions, Masaomi couldn't help but notice how they fit together perfectly. He hadn't even been very embarrassed; he couldn't be embarrassed when Izaya's first thrust felt like his hundredth, as if they had been sleeping together for as long as he could remember. It was more than a childish crush. Masaomi had known, as his lover had spilled inside of him, caressing his body and whispering how good he'd been, that he'd found someone he would never be able to forget.

Masaomi had fallen too hard too fast. He was touched whenever his partner desired it, and preformed favors at Izaya's request; he never refused the informant. He relied on the man for everything: intimacy, knowledge to further his intelligence and maturity, "borrowed" money, keeping his girlfriend ignorant, and information to help his gang. He had made a horrible mistake in trusting the beautiful man. He loved him, and that couldn't have been helped, but he should not have had blind faith in the informant.

Izaya had betrayed him. He had shattered the comfortable world that Izaya, himself, had specifically molded for Masaomi—like a god smiting a devoted follower for the sake of entertainment. He had been a pawn the whole time. Of course, he had never expected Izaya to reciprocate his strong feelings, but he thought that he was cared for in _some_ way. He remembered so clearly Izaya's words from when he'd showed up at the hospital the night of Saki's accident.

 _"_ _It's a shame, you know? Of course, I don't regret what I've done. But I feel that I've now lost my favorite pawn. I only wish there would've been a way to keep you after all of this. But, alas, you will forever blame me for making you feel such pain, for betraying you after becoming your trusted lover, and destroying everything you hold—held—so dear. Before you depart, know this: you are always welcome in my home. Whether you've forgiven me or not, I will take you in as if you'd never left. Because, Masaomi-kun, I've only broken my favorite pawn with the knowledge that he will put himself back together and return to my game board. I know you will."_

"I love you, Masaomi-kun."

The teen wasn't fazed. He'd heard those words countless times. Izaya wanted to touch him because he "loved" him; Izaya "loved" him when they made out on the couch for an hour; he "loved" him when he fell asleep in his arms, and he still "loved" him when they woke up together. It meant **nothing**.

"Don't be cruel, Izaya-san."

"It's the truth."

"That's why it's cruel. You love me, along with the rest of humanity. You could truthfully say that to anyone, and that is exactly what makes it meaningless. I'm no different than anyone else in your eyes."

"That's not true. I slept with you, but I wouldn't with the great majority of other humans. Only you have ever fully stayed the night in my arms. You're completely different."

"Maybe, but it's still not the same kind of love I wanted from you. You aren't _in love_ with me."

"How can you be certain I'm not?"

Masaomi's breath caught, and he heard the pounding of his heart in his ears. How pathetic he felt for getting so worked up over hypothetical words. But still, he had to ask; he had to be certain. After what happened, he could never be sure of Izaya's feelings for himself or anyone else. This was a man who was impossible to completely understand, and it seemed he became more difficult to comprehend the more Masaomi made an attempt to learn about how his mind and emotions worked. "You're in love with me?"

"I could be."

A sigh fell from his lips. Of course it was only another trick, but he couldn't help himself from asking, out of the slightest possibility it might be true. Maybe it was better that he wasn't, so Masaomi had a solid reason to not return to the person who had shattered his heart in the past. "You could be, but you aren't."

"Why must you always jump to a negative conclusion? I might cherish you even more than you cherish me."

Masaomi fought away tears. "This is why I can't come back. I can't be pulled into your games again. I've put myself together again, like you said, but if I break another time, I don't think I'll be able to go on. I'm happy with Saki, and I don't need anyone else." He spoke with a firm tone, but it was obvious that he was falling apart.

"Didn't you feel that way the first time?" Izaya was calm as ever, absentmindedly combing his fingers through blond hair as he spoke in a calming voice.

"Yes, but I was naïve then; I won't be swept away so easily."

"Then I suppose I'll have to try harder to woo you." He tilted the boy's chin up and held back a smile from the adorable way Masaomi kept his lips in a thin, tight line and squeezed his eyes shut. It was a last attempt to resist him. "Masaomi-kun, open your eyes."

The boy shook his head defiantly. He was almost at his breaking point.

"Won't you let me see your beautiful golden eyes? I've missed them; I've missed you, Masaomi. Since you left, I've been eagerly anticipating the day when you'd finally come back."

 _'_ _No. I can't fall for it. He's lying. This is just a fun game to him.'_

"All right. Keep them shut. I'll just have to wait a bit longer." He bent his head and kissed the sides of Masaomi's mouth, then wrapped the boy's arm around his neck and stood up to carry him to the bedroom. The blond's eyes finally opened when he was laid on the bed. Izaya moved over him and touched his face.

"There they are." Masaomi's eyes held all of the words he wouldn't say, and the feelings he hopelessly tried to deny: unrequited love, the fear of being hurt again, but desiring Izaya more than anything else. "Do you want me?"

"Always." Pulse racing and hands sweating, he looked at the man with an expression of surrender. His fight was over.

Izaya smiled. "Yes, I've missed you a great deal." He leaned down and kissed him sweetly.

When his pants and boxers were pulled off, Masaomi broke their embrace. Blushing, he sucked on and licked the fingers pressed against his lips. Their rendezvous were almost always quick, and Masaomi preferred it that way, so he could efficiently relieve his tension and briefly allow himself to experience fond feelings before he really thought about what was going on. He groaned and sank his fingernails into his skin as two fingers entered him. Apart from yesterday, it had been awhile since he or Izaya had stretched him, and it was somewhat painful. But Izaya knew his body better than he did, and the pain immediately subsided as heat burned in his lower regions. "Ahh, m-more."

"You're so greedy, aren't you? How cute."

Paleness spread across the younger man's flushed face. Everything was too familiar. Izaya on top of him, kissing his neck, angling his hips perfectly; Masaomi would make cute jokes and light banter to hide how awkward he considered the intimate situation to be, even after being touched by him numerous times; Izaya would whisper something that would make him moan, and he'd smell that intoxicating scent when his lover moved closer to kiss him. Remembering the routine unsettled him. What bothered him possibly the most was that cheating on his girlfriend was something barely even considered in the decision to submit to Izaya. He loved Saki, so how could he allow Izaya to so easily seduce him? How could he moan out for more when he should be pushing the man away?

Unless they were thinking of an excuse to give her for why Masaomi had yet again stayed over at the informant's place, Saki was nonexistent when he was with Izaya. Izaya was the sole object of his affection. When he was younger, his world revolved around the captivating man. Once he was pulled in, he followed out any orders given. Izaya was an elusive, beautiful creature that Masaomi had somehow captured the attention of, and he always remembered that. At fifteen, he felt blessed to be the one Orihara Izaya used for sexual release. He was grateful when he was permitted to stay the night, and ecstatic when presented with the opportunity to kiss the informant or cuddle with him on the couch. Izaya had been his god, and it took all the will he had to resist returning.

His thoughts were broken when he heard his name called. "Masaomi-kun, are you all right?"

Masaomi had finished, and Izaya was lying on his side, facing him as he wiped some release off his abdomen with a tissue. He had been too absorbed in his thoughts to enjoy the pleasure from being with his god again. "You hurt me," he whispered.

"That's probably because it's been so long," he said as he tossed the tissue into the garbage.

"I don't mean physical pain." He turned the other way, not surprised when he felt arms encircle his waist.

"Well, you have to decide for yourself whether you're willing to take that risk again—whether you trust me not to hurt you or trust yourself to not fall apart again if I do."

"Why can't you just be normal and say, 'I'll never hurt you again'?" All of this was far too complicated for Masaomi's liking. But of course, being with Izaya had never been simple, and he doubted it ever would be.

Izaya kissed the nape of the boy's neck. "I can say that if you wish, but it would be a lie. I know that I'll hurt you again, and you'd have to be an idiot to not realize that. No, I won't make your world crumble beneath you again, but there will be times when I push you away, say something insensitive, and play with your emotions. As I said before, if you want to keep doing this," Izaya mused, trailing his fingers along Masaomi's side, "you'll have to either believe that you're more emotionally stable, or trust that I won't push you past your limits. You're in love with me, but you're no longer blinded and overwhelmed by your affections. You're mature enough to make the decision to walk away if you think I'll break your heart again."

It sounded so easy, to merely leave the one he was so infatuated with because he would be hurt. No relationship was perfect, and he didn't believe they would ever have anything meaningful shared between them; it would always be one-sided love, returned by whatever shallow feelings Izaya had for him. Knowing he would probably get hurt again wasn't enough to keep him away, though.

He pulled Masaomi closer. "Am I worth it, Masaomi-kun? Are you willing to risk your heart, and possibly your sanity, to be reclaimed by the person who once destroyed you?"

The blond turned to face his former lover with an unreadable expression that amused Izaya. "You truly are a horrible person."

Izaya smiled gently, twirling thin strands of hair between his fingers. "That doesn't answer my question."

Masaomi flopped onto his back and sighed. He stared at the white ceiling as he said, "Come here." As requested, Izaya moved closer, rising to his elbow to look at the boy. Masaomi pulled the man's head down and kissed him with a slow passion, breaking it after just a few moments. "If you ever tell me that you love me, you'll never see me again."

"Why is that?"

"I don't need to explain. If the words, 'I love you' pass those perfect lips of yours ever again, directed at me, I will leave and never come back. I can deal with your petty games, but I'll admit to you now that I will break if I play a game with you centered around that phrase."

"But how will I express my affections for Masaomi-kun, when the time comes?" he teased.

"Luckily for you, that won't ever be a problem you'll have to face."

Izaya smirked. This time, it was the informant's turn to feel his heart race with excitement. How wonderful it was to have his favorite pawn back in his treacherous grasp. "I accept your terms, my darling Masaomi."


	3. Chapter 3

Izaya _wanted_ him _._ At least, that's what Masaomi had gathered from their encounters thus far. Izaya was the one who had come on to him, and tried to convince him to become his once more. They had been intimate again, during which the informant expressed desire to take him back as his lover. But surprisingly, apart from when they slept beside each other the second night, Izaya didn't guide Masaomi to the bed—or the couch or desk. He wasn't showing any sort of interest in the boy he had seemingly worked so hard to secure. When they had first become lovers, years ago, it was different. Izaya made out with him, initiated the exchange of sexual favors, and invited him to sleep over. Between those times, Izaya teased him with dirty jokes and seductive looks. Now, however, it was as if Masaomi was only in his apartment to be the employee of the busy informant.

Of course, when he approached Izaya for a job, their current situation was what he had planned on. He was working as a sort of assistant rather than someone Izaya occasionally called on for certain jobs, and he had anticipated spending some time in the luxurious apartment, quietly doing paperwork and gathering information online. This was what Masaomi had hoped for.

Letting Izaya touch him was not part of the plan. He had expected some temptation, and even some flirtatious teasing on the seductive man's part. But he didn't want to gain a new lover. He already had one, after all. Now he found himself making subtle passes at Izaya, but he was turned down in a similarly subtle way. _Masaomi_ desired _him_. He began to constantly think about their relationship—or lack thereof. Had he misinterpreted? He had initiated the first kiss, but only because Izaya had been baiting him. Maybe Izaya didn't want him as much as he'd thought.

A sexual relationship was what Masaomi had expected ever since that day about two weeks ago. Of course, he hadn't explicitly _agreed_ to anything. He never said that he would sleep with Izaya regularly. However, he thought that was at least heavily implied. Had Izaya not understood that he wanted to have a sexual relationship with him? Was he too vague? Had his stubbornness made Izaya think he wasn't worth the effort?

There was really nothing Masaomi could do. He was far too proud to initiate anything, and it would be too embarrassing to outright ask Izaya where they stood, or propose that they become lovers again. Due to his pride and fear, all Masaomi could do was quietly complete his work and hope Izaya would show some interest.

So at seven on that Thursday evening, Masaomi handed Izaya the work he had completed, gave him a quick, awkward goodbye, and left the apartment. He dreaded the next day, when he would have to endure the confusion and discomfort once again.

* * *

As the days passed by, Masaomi grew more restless, but Izaya grew more entertained, and more excited. He briefly glanced at his employee every so often, relishing the occasions Masaomi's expression gave away all of his thoughts—his _desires._ Izaya loved watching one of his favorite humans struggle to comprehend the situation he was in, and attempt to build up courage to confront him. But, as anticipated, he wasn't able to do it. So Izaya continued to work at his desk, all the while watching his former lover agonize over what to do to fix the situation he now found himself stuck in. His plan was playing out perfectly, better than expected, even. Masaomi's expressions and behavior allowed Izaya to practically read his mind, and that was something that gave the informant great pleasure.

Izaya was an attractive man. He had never had problems finding a sexual partner. He knew that he had stunning looks and a charming personality that made people swoon. When he decided to first begin having sex, he found himself a girlfriend to regularly sleep with. As he matured, and the people he was attracted to subsequently did the same, he no longer needed to woo a girl into bed by first starting a romantic relationship. It was also easier to sleep with men, since he'd avoided standing out being labeled as homosexual by his judgmental classmates following ignorant social norms. He never had a "boyfriend." So as humans aged with him and slowly lost sight of the idea of needing to be in a romantic relationship to sleep with someone, Izaya found himself convenient lovers to occasionally sleep with. He didn't have much of a sex drive, so his encounters were mostly infrequent, but he always had someone to go to when his urges became too uncomfortable to ignore. Although he didn't engage in sexual relations often, it was still a favorite pastime of his, as he was able to watch people surrender to him, and let themselves be completely vulnerable. He enjoyed that part of the encounter far more than the physical gratification.

Masaomi was different. He held the title of the strong leader of a powerful gang, and he was merely fifteen. He possessed more maturity than others his age, and didn't express any desire to sleep with Izaya. Although, his attraction was obvious from the way he became flustered when close to him, and stared when he thought Izaya didn't notice. But he never made any kind of advances. Izaya obviously didn't expect everyone who found him attractive to make an attempt to get romantically or sexually with him, but the way Masaomi acted was interesting. The young leader quickly became his new obsession.

Izaya surprised himself when he came to the conclusion that he desired Masaomi in a sexual sense. A fifteen-year-old boy was not the type of human Izaya normally found himself attracted to. But Masaomi was impossibly cute, and he couldn't help yearning to see his wonderful expressions of desire and hearing the beautiful noises of pleasure Izaya could induce.

So Izaya decided to pursue him. It took a while, because he used a subtle approach, but eventually, he successfully seduced Masaomi. He was obviously inexperienced, and needed to be taught many things, but the way he acted greatly made up for his timidity and awkward behavior. It was even better than Izaya had imagined, and he even made the boy his exclusive sexual partner, despite that they never actually slept together. He wanted to hold out on him for as long as possible, and use it as a weapon in the perfect moment. As Masaomi became more skilled in the bedroom, Izaya found himself thinking that he wanted to _always_ be with him, and that was a frightening idea. After closing himself off to humanity, a mere teenager had found his way into his heart, and it could not continue, lest Izaya end up broken. He knew that breaking Masaomi would drive him away, and he would lose his lover. It was a difficult sacrifice, but he was forced to betray him to protect himself.

Now Masaomi had returned, albeit reluctantly. As much as he wanted to pin Masaomi to the nearest piece of furniture and elicit those arousing moans, he only allowed himself a small taste. Soon enough, Izaya would be able to do as he pleased, he frequently reminded himself. He had to wait a bit longer. In order to hook Masaomi in, he had to make the boy barely be able to hold back his desires before taking him again. If Izaya showed too much interest from the beginning, Masaomi wouldn't think about him as much, and might eventually become bored of sleeping with him. So he waited for his former lover to initiate something on his own, and it happened two weeks later.

* * *

Masaomi was sick of the frustration and worry. Maybe Izaya wasn't touching him because he hadn't been getting adequate stimulation in return. In the past, he almost always declined when Masaomi offered to get him off, and seemed to enjoy pleasuring the blond much more than receiving anything. Had things changed since then, now that he was more experienced and capable of adequate performance in the bedroom? It seemed like the most plausible explanation.

Just before he left work that day, he made his way around the back of Izaya's desk and stood in front of him with a blank stare. The man appeared to be greatly amused as he turned his chair to face the blond and smirked. For once, he didn't say anything, only smirking wider when Masaomi rested his knee between his legs and kissed him. He returned it without moving anything other than his lips, allowing the younger man to do as he pleased.

Looking up at him with the same empty expression as before, Masaomi dropped down onto his knees and pulled out Izaya's flaccid length. Only this time, there was a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes. "Do you want me to do this?"

The question was met with a smile, as Izaya remained composed as ever, seemingly not affected by the way he was slowly hardening from the strokes of Masaomi's hand. "If I didn't want you to touch me, you wouldn't be."

A heavy sigh passed the blond's lips. He was aware of Izaya's sentiment, but he had been searching for a deliberate answer to his question. Masaomi wanted to hear aloud that Izaya desired his touch, even if it was a half-hearted, vague reply. It seemed that Izaya refused to give him that. With a frown, Masaomi stood up and averted his gaze, staring out the window as he thought about how to proceed. He felt embarrassed for initiating such an act after so deliberately stating that he didn't plan on resuming their intimate relationship, and knew that Izaya was only amused by his contradictory behavior. Chewing on his lip, he crossed his arms and turned to face the windows. Before he could think of something acceptable to say, though, the arms of the man that had moved behind him wrapped around his waist. He considered pushing Izaya away, but he couldn't deny that it was relaxing to be held so gently, but securely. His eyes fluttered shut as the feeling of teeth on his neck made him shudder, and some groping of his front area followed right after.

The blush returned to his cheeks as Izaya's hand moved to his zipper, and both of the normally chatty men remained wordless for once. It was silent in the apartment other than barely-audible moans and shaky exhales that left Masaomi, growing louder as the amount and intensity of the contact increased.

"Drink this," Izaya requested, finally breaking the silence as he grabbed a small red bottle from a drawer of his desk. He held it in front of Masaomi's face.

"What is it?"

"It's similar to an aphrodisiac, with slight sedative properties." The informant grinned widely when Masaomi gulped the liquid down without a word and gave the empty bottle to the man behind him.

"Good boy. That will be useful a little later. We'll continue now."

After Masaomi's pants and boxers met the floor, Izaya's slicked fingers traveled around to stretch him out, causing the other to place his hands on the window for support. He lowered his head, embarrassed by the lewd expression reflected back at him from the glass.

"Iza...ya," Masaomi moaned quietly. He panted heavily as the man's fingers dug inside him, and was reminded of the many other occasions this had occurred. That was a time of bliss, where he thought Izaya had genuine feelings for him. While it was better to think the man cared for him, he was content now, understanding his stance with him. He had no doubt that Izaya was only using him for personal gain, and it was comforting to be sure of the truth.

"Masaomi~," he purred into the younger's ear, grinning as the sound of him unzipping his pants caused Masaomi to tremble in anticipation. Izaya pressed the tip of his length against him and teasingly moved it around a little, deciding he could wait a bit longer in order to hear those glorious whimpers of desperation and need.

"Let's get you in a different position, hm?" Izaya turned them around and pushed Masaomi's torso against his desk. "Yes, I like this much better," he hummed, grinning when he was met with no protest. Instead, Masaomi spread his legs and strengthened his stance so his legs wouldn't wobble too much. "What a beautiful sight."

"Just shut up and fuck me already," Masaomi grumbled, resting his forehead on his arm as he waited for Izaya to start.

"You're too eager, Masa-chan. Anticipation is an important part of sex, you know." When he didn't receive a reply, Izaya coated his arousal in lubricant, grabbed Masaomi's hips, and thrust inside him roughly. His smirk returned from the cry his sudden action caused, and he wasted no more time, picking up a quick and hard pace, delighting in the sounds elicited from Masaomi.

After a few minutes had passed, Masaomi began to feel weak and dizzy, and his pleasure somehow increased. "Izaya, why... hah.. did you give me an aphrodisiac when I was a-already going to put out?"

"Because someone is coming over, and I don't want you to be too embarrassed to continue. It's more convenient this way."

Masaomi didn't get a chance to respond, because in the next moment, they both the noise of a doorknob being rattled with incredible strength. Shortly after, a cracking sound filled the apartment, and another blond entered.

"Iza—" The yell cut off when Shizuo Heiwajima turned his gaze to the men across the apartment. He stared from one to the other, seemingly waiting for them to stop. When Izaya simply kept thrusting into Masaomi without any protests, however, Shizuo crossed his arms and studied the youngest man's face. "...Hey, flea, is that kid drugged?"

"Yes, you could say that," Izaya said with an unflinching smile. He pushed Masaomi's shirt up and lightly scratched his bare back.

"You—" Shizuo's protest was cut short by Izaya.

"Don't worry, Shizu-chan; I'm not assaulting him. I told him what was in the bottle after we got started and he willingly took it. I assume he figured it would add some extra pleasure. Isn't that right, Masa-chan?"

Masaomi nodded weakly, staring at Shizuo with an open mouth and heavy breaths and quiet moans escaped. "And it's... nngh... amazing."

"There you have it. We'll be done soon, so take a seat on the couch, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo, although obviously uncomfortable, obeyed the order. He seemed rather familiar with the situation, as though it happened plenty of times in the past. But still, he clearly would rather not be witnessing the scene.

True to his word, Izaya finished up with Masaomi rather quickly, releasing inside him a few minutes later, shortly after the blond's own climax. He fixed himself up, wiped off Masaomi, then gathered the blond into his arms and carried him over to the couch. He sat down and placed Masaomi on his lap, grinning as he squirmed. "Is something the matter, Masaomi?"

"I'm still horny," he murmured in embarrassment. "Must be because of that drug or whatever."

"I see~! Well, we do have another guest here. Maybe you should go over and let him join in, hm?" He let go of Masaomi, but when he stood up and began stumbling over to the other man, Izaya grabbed his hips and pulled him back down. "I was only joking. You're mine, and I don't intend to share you with a beast. I'll just make you feel good while I have a conversation with Shizu-chan." He spread Masaomi's legs and slid his fingers inside him. As Masaomi moaned and writhed, he looked at Shizuo with his usual smirk.

"As you can see, I've been preoccupied with my old lover. That's why you came here, right? To ask why I haven't been visiting you? Well, I wanted to be just as deprived as him until I finally gave him the fucking he deserves. But now... I've decided that I only want to be with Masaomi."

Shizuo crossed his arms. "Tch... Whatever. I don't care."

"Ah, but you do! You're a possessive monster, you know? You always get upset when you see me with my other lovers, or if I even mention them to you. Maybe you developed feelings for me, somewhere during all that hate-fucking?" He held up a hand to stop Shizuo from protesting. "Whatever the case, you'll have to find another partner and get over me. You're aware of how much I adore my darling Masaomi, aren't you? After all, you were quite upset the first time around when I stopped sleeping with you to focus on him. Now I'm doing it all over again. Does the rejection hurt, Shizu-chan?" He dug his fingers harder into Masaomi and slid his tongue along his neck, chuckling when he received a loud moan in response.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about, damn flea."

"It's okay, he won't remember this conversation. He'll only remember vague murmuring and the way I made him feel. So you don't have to worry about your little secret getting out. But really, find someone else to fuck you, because I intend to be with Masaomi from now on. I got him back, and I'm not letting him go. He's far more entertaining than a protozoan like you." Izaya wrapped his arm around Masaomi's waist and pulled him closer when Shizuo balled his fists and stood up. "Ah, ah... Don't get hasty, now. You don't want to hurt an innocent man, do you? It's not Masa-chan's fault that I don't love you. That's because you're a monster. There was never any kind of future for us, and it's pitiful you thought there could be despite my openness that you would never be the only one. No one can satisfy me the way he can."

Izaya laughed airily. "How funny! I bet you never thought I could commit to anyone. But really, all this time, I was just waiting for Masaomi to come back." He smiled softly when Masaomi cried out and climaxed again, and grabbed a kleenex to clean him up again. "Ah, how cute... The drug made him fall asleep. Isn't he adorable?" Izaya wrapped both arms around him and kissed his cheek.

"...Do you love him?" Shizuo finally asked, looking at Masaomi with an expression that hid his disappointment.

"I wonder... I do love humans, so I love him in that way. Romantic love, however, I'm just not sure. I've never really felt a desire for romance—going out on dates, holding hands as we walk down the sidewalk, sharing words of affection... That has never appealed to me. Still, if I have Masaomi, I don't need another sexual partner, and although I don't quite know yet what way it will be, I would very much enjoy keeping him by my side for as long as possible—maybe even until one of us dies. But that's too far into the future to decide. For now, I'll just tell you that I want to spend my days with him, and only him."

Shizuo crossed his arms again, still not meeting Izaya's eyes. "Yeah, whatever. I guess I'll go now." After a moment, he awkwardly left the apartment, gently shutting the apartment door behind him.

Once they were alone, Izaya laid Masaomi on his back, and then got up to grab the boy's clothes. He placed a kiss on his forehead as he put on his clothing. "So, we've gotten rid of my baggage, Masaomi." Izaya sat down beside him and stroked his hair. "Now it's time to get rid of yours."


End file.
